You expect far to much of the inanimate world. I HAVE POWERS PINTO BEANS CAN ONLY DREAM OF! If the universe is infinite it would be crazy to think that we're alone. ME: Yeah, but I told her that she'd be a terible ruler. After all, no one would really care if I quit updating this site. Is anyone even reading this? He ignored the fact that he was also a 72 year old "sanitation engineer" somewhere. It's a cheap shot." I'd rather drink the "impure" tap water where at least I KNOW that someone, somewhere tested it. Moving on, I finaly managed to coax my sister (I'm tired of writing Mrs. X) to tentativly guess that America fought in the Civil War. So, everyone went to the beach and got tans. In some far off world, there are pokemonthere are an evil race of muffin like creatures, there is a world with ABSOLUTLY NO COMMERCIALS DURING TELEVISION! You got me started. Work. Maybe, some day far in the future (like next Thursday) I'll print a copy of this insane text. When someone of her generation runs for president, I'm gonna do a complete background check. I'll just have to do the very best that I can. Then, just wait for technology to "catch-up" (get it, catch-up, Ketchup? Ain't it nifty? Halfway though I used my four remaining brain-cells to decide that the game was dumb. I admit it. I few months ago I saw a movie about that. I once*embarassed pause* had "Hey, You! The fake blood seeped into the open wound. This action has made her very suspicious of where my loyalties lie. Why, the assasinating annoying cartoon characters buisness. Maybe they're here right now! Which is bad. I would have sold the monkey and the organ and been able to eat for at least a year. THe cake was good. William Faulkner was featured in 1983 Guinness Book of World Records for this 1,288-word sentence from Absalom, Absalom! Goodbye! Although why you'd be here if you didn't want to read is beyond me. Still later that day, she got offended at some trivial thing and decided that we weren't going anywhere at all. To compound the EVIL situationI was forced to wear feminine shoes. That meant that my mother would be in the back, with me and my younger, eviler sister. Gotta goI think I hear a catchy jingle. Did you know, that Kodak was part of the conspiracy to assasinate John F. Kennedy. Why do weird people (myself included) obsess about monkeys? Sleeping is fun. And that's just what I can list from memory. Today's rant is a panic rant. I'm back. Wooooooo! What's that. The Patron Saint of Paper Clips (me again!) She was upset, because she had accidently run over an armidillo. You'd have to find the end, of course. Isn't that like a slang term for an insult? 17 min ago She likes sniffing potentially dangerous stuff, like electrical sockets. For all you know, you could be halucinating my entire site! Now, you must realize that I have described only one aspect of this movie of all movies. Now is the time to mourn the loss of one of my most loyal readers (I think she's read the entire thing one time, which is more than anyone else has done so far) She has been banned from accesing any portion of the Internet, do to reasons that must remain confidental due to security reasons. For all you know you could be staring at that freaky 3-D maze screen saver with a blank look on your face while you THINK you're reading an inhumanly long text. I'm not exactly sure what that means, but it sure is funny:) You don't agree? Even though it gains pleasure from squishing my spine. Yes. Nowadays, postmodern fiction writers such as John Barth are still influenced by Faulkners run-on technique. I highly recommend you see the movie yourself. I'll add that to the FLAMING CHICKENS HANDBOOK. Maybe I should put quotation marks around themnah, too much work. Shoot them down like the dogs they are! and Jones: Sho, Kernel; sho now and catching him as he fell and commandeering the first passing wagon to take him to the house and carry him up the front steps and through the paintless formal door beneath its fanlight imported pane by pane from Europe which Judith held open for him to enter with no change, no alteration in that calm frozen face which she had worn for four years now, and on up the stairs and into the bedroom and put him to bed like a baby and then lie down himself on the floor beside the bed though not to sleep since before dawn the man on the bed would stir and groan and Jones would say, flyer I am, Kernel. I'm glad you're not just in my life but that you're my better half. yeah. So am I. I then copied and pasted the German and put it in the text box. Not that the aformentioned individual claims to have received hate mail (or mail of any kind) via a website link. I'm allergic to parts of it, have irrational fears about others and I'm pretty sure it's against my Jenny religionalong with eating mashed potatoes, or potatoes of any kind. You see, I periodically read the longest text ever to check the constant downward spiral of my sanity. Nowjust stop a second and contemplate that. OkayI can do it. If that's not a vast conspiracy, then nothing on this Earth is. I am back. An enemy so hideous that Moose must destroy it at all costs. I see your EVIL plot now, Hypothetical Reader! If you don't like it, start your own longest text ever. And most people don't even come here. More recently, I was trying to instill a sense of empathy and niceness in her. I wonder why anyone would read this? I'm back. I repeat, lock all you doors and windows, this is it. (Note: I wrote virtually none of this, so I cannot be blamed, credited with any of this. What's really fun is to translate an English saying, like out of sight, out of mind. It deludes all of American's sweet, innocent, candy-loving children into thinking that a cartoon owl is smarter than they are! And now, a word from our non-existant sponsor. All the other internet writers have nothing on me, except they're better at advertising, having a central theme/plot and basically more talented. * (*Not a guarantee) (Next commercial)Have you ever wondered why food sometimes goes bad in your fridge, even if you've only had it a few years? If you want neat, go to some other site(though, as mentioned in Flaming Chickens Code:472 there is no such thing as a site better than this one). I gave him cupcakes, and presents, and did everything I could to befriend him! This is because she memorizes the questions. That's why. Here's what I wrote this weekend: Woooooo! 12083 is a mid length novelette. Any miniute now. Unfortunalty, several of those reasons LEGITAMITLY apply to a certain activity I do every Tuesday, which WILL NOT BE NAMED HERE LEST I GIVE IT POWER OVER ME! I'd probley come here, but that isn't much of a surprise. You must be pretty bored, too. Let's keep in touch. So the game naturally did everything it could to preserve my life. Originally from Northern Ireland, she is an artist now based in Berlin. I'm back. What? I can just see it nowan organization devoted not to feeding the hungry, or peace, or love or whatever, but to giving recognition to all those poor, pathetic, unpopular websites. It's pushing down on me, squishing my spine. So rather than battle her over the concept of getting dressed in the dark, I get up. He would do everything in his power to keep his dream from becoming reality. That just sounds nifty! Then, some fasion bimbo went on a fasionable safarii to get some fasionable furs, or whatever. I may NEVER shut up. Oh, yeah! (Think of the fake-looking Star Trek aliens). Yeah. Anyway, sorry for the lack of relative weirdness, conspiracy theories and doughnuts (my Moose ate them all). The experimental writers sentence style inspired hundreds of writers since, including Samuel Beckett, Virginia Woolf, F. Scott Fitzgerald, James Joyce, and other masters of modern literature. WowI really must be bored. A post shared by Worlds Best Story (@worldsbeststory). If so, I guess I won't be writing here for quite awhileseeya. Each Friday, I wait (all tingly with anticipation) for the weekend so that I can stay up 'till the wee hours of the morning and sleep past noon. The whole meal thing was about the only interesting thing to happen during the week. Oooootime for today's topic. When I play a gambling game, there is a possibility that I'll lose everything, so I start on negative however much NP I have with me. It would sneeze, then start it's eight-hour-long death hum. Most book lovers would agree that coming across a very long sentence in a novel can sometimes require multiple reads to comprehend. Apparantly Grape Pie isn't mainstream, but it has existed for some time. Today I added an update page, which is basically a less chaotic, outlined version of this without all the ranting. I'm back again! He acted like he was really being tortured and stuff. He once said, It was Faulkner at his most involuted and incantatory who most enchanted me. The current record holder for the longest english sentence is Jonathan Coe for his staggering 33-page, 13,955-word sentence in The Rotters Club, 2001. That's why I like fast-food salt. I have heard some feedback suggesting that I make someway for people to remember where they stopped reading. *content sigh* There we gothat's much better. It's strange. I've heard of poems and stuff written by people who were high, insane or paranoid. Number Seven: I could drive people crazy. TACO will eventually destroy him. My mom said that she didn't care. Warning* Extremely long pasta. Guess what I wanna do. As long as you don't mind a few more couch potatoes. Fire is my frienduntil it burns me. And secret? There's even a money back guarantee. Then it would be okay. OF FREAKIN' COURSE IT WAS FREE! Unless, of course, the government was smart enough to have cameras without the blinkie light. When I related this story to my friends (including "Meg") they thought it was hilarious. Then he preceeded to trash my room, scattering kleenex everywhere. I was very proud of her, just as you would be proud of a two-year-old who has just announced: "I WENT POO-POO ON THE POTTY!!!!!" The workers would then be able to afford more entertainment items and the upward spiral would continue, as opposed to the evil downward spiral of my writing. Maybe eventually some weird, bored person will wander onto my site on accident and be mildly entertained be my site until they wander onto a live video feed of a coffee maker. This is actually my third attempt at doing this. The movie ends with him in a coma. For an ENTIRE MONTH I have possesed the arcane knowledge, but I forgot to share it with you, my loyal potentially imaginary reader. That means I take four classes this semester and four different classes next year. *sigh* *sniffle* *snort* *insert word that is a sound that begins with an "s" here* I don't have much time, so, I must be brief. I DO NOT LIKE CHANGE! Oooo! The Patron Saint of Paper Clips in no way wishes harm on your computer. Honestly, the more time I waste playing the game, the less time I'll work on this site and the less stuff you gotta read. Here we go! TAB members got pizzalots of pizzaand candy. You thought you'd gotten rid of me. I won't be able to feed my various imaginary pets and friends their beloved imaginary food! Or, would that be good? School has been on for four days now. Lots of people spoke. I translated it from German to English and got "I am the Moved Taco!" It'd probley be as popular as those game shows that no one's ever heard of. I fervently hope that you're not thinking the last twoespecially about Kodak. After much argument, my father was going to turn around, untill he realized that my mother was going to drop the dogs and me off, and then turn around and continue north. Now I do. The longest word entered in most standard English dictionaries is Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis with 45 letters. Especially that duct tape. Okay. She promptly borrowed $1 to help with the waitresses tip(This part I'm not being sarcastic about) All in all it was a night I'll remember forever (as the lowest point in "family outing"history, except for that time my mom dragged me to a church thing on the concept of truth.) My character is actually dodging the stupid rocks better now then when I controlled him. Because they put subliminal messages in them, of course! RANDOM PERSON: You don't say? You're only browsing it. They particularly liked how I said that she went back and ran over it 11 more times. If you don't believe that all that air has weight, try going into space sometime. Would it be called DIS? If my site manages to last a decade, my readers *snicker* will probley wonder what I'm talking about. But the point is, if I were, say, freakily allergic to a random mineral, I could read the ingredients and not eat the salt. Which is exactly what it gets. I think. I hope I remember doing this. In conclusion, Ladies and Gentlemenif you implement my idea, there will be peace and prosperity for all. Now, I'm not speaking from personal experience here. "Lots of death, lots and lots of death in this section. It's an outrage! You exploud. Its in the mail, I promise! You don't know either? An enemy so terrifying that Moose cannot stop shaking. Code 452 of the Flaming Chickens Handbook states that the Patron Saint of Paperclips (ME!!!) CHEESE!!! Maybe. Now I have decided to go for a world record. And I promise not to force you to live when you would rather die. It sucked. Because I do. I thought of a topic on the way home, but forgot it. First devised by professor William J. Rapaport in 1972, this notorious sentence plays on reduced relative clauses, different part-of-speech readings of the same word, and center embedding. Was it on purpose, or was it just some mistake? When you're in space (without a space suit) you don't SUFFUCATE, you don't FREEZE. c)I have an extremly irrational fear of that. I don't WANT to do the same thing for an entire year. Code: 888 of The Flaming Chickens Handbook states that The Patron Saint of Paperclips (still me) is always right. Did it make more sense that this text? Who am I kidding? Pastebin.com is the number one paste tool since 2002. On video games. Doesn't that make you feel better? maybe the longest text ever. One of my friends (who laughed at the armidillo story) named Tonileigh said "Jenny (that's me) is weirder than the average Psycho." And if you expect something and get nothing, you feel cheated. The best way to be brief is to quit now. I guess I'll just rant and rave about that whole vicious downward spiral of my writing. These cookies do not store any personal information. and even if they could it wouldn't do them any good because it would scare them instead of the aformentioned individual. You cannot DEFEAT me! He sneaks into neighboring homes, and takes clothing, wrapped christmas presents, and anything he can find. Here are 65 examples of long sentences ranging from the relatively brief 96 words to one of the longest sentences at 2,156 words. hello, I like to play Fortnite it is a really good game. I can even see the shadow of my hand on the wall from the light those things shed. Yes. What, is there a giant sign saying, "DEAD END"? Past editions of The Guinness Book of World Records have listed this record. But people buy name brands. Why, you ask? I probley should have capitalized something, or underlined but I'm feeling lazyhey, you try to keep your two and a half readers happy! *there's that darn cricket again* And I have a genuine question to ask all of my loyal readers *cough-cough* Okay, here it is: Is it normal for a non-gender specific sibling to carry around various dead reptiles (snakes, turtles, lizards etc.) They'll probably just call us weird and laugh at us, but that's beside the point! Although, as I said, there's no way to prove me wrong OR right. Gone would be the days when parents told children to play outside, it's a nice day. No longer does school teach use reading, riting and 'rithmitic, it now teaches us ranting, raving and rambling! (on accident, vast number of times) Hee-Hee! Why on earth did they keep the monkey? This would have resulted in the deaths of numerous pedistriansand I would still probably be wondering around in search of a McDonalds. Jonathan Coes The Rotters Clubends with a 33-page long whopper with 13,955 words in it. That's why it's here, and not some critically acclaimed site. BYE!!! In return companies would make a profit, pay their workers better. MOOSE! Hmmmmmhas any old, senile person ever written anything? Here is a long equation without line number. You're still here, which must mean that you'd rather be here than anywhere else! It was uncomfortable in the back, it was too hot, it was too cold. And then I'll be writing for me again. If my sisteruhMrs. X were ever asked a question on the Civil War on a quiz show, she'd come up with nothing. Somehow, I managed to make my furby die. This is too frustrating. Perhaps, one day, far in the future, this will actually be a world record and random people will acutally voluntarily read this text every day. I don't think there actually are any. Should you violate the purpose of this site: i.e. I'm leavingnow I'm back! She is a heavy-set Yorkshire Terrior (12 lbs.) Ooooothats a great idea! | 0.47 KB, Python | ", or "Wow, I never knew that!" And one out of a million people would probably have a few sentences. It cannot behmmmmmaybe I should just use IMAGINARY duct tapeit's easier to come by ,but it's much more expensiveI'm not sure what to do. I was inspired by the various other "longest texts ever" on the internet, and I wanted to make my own. His syntax has a way of weaving itself into the unconscious, emerging as fair to middling imitation. If I had 500np with me, I'd be at-500. And on to:#4You make your friends look normal in comparison. the whole time, even during the name-calling, seniors were playing with silly string and beachballs. I need to find a topic. I'm getting bored, so I think I'm done for the day. I'm back. It can be very confusing, especially if you weren't paying attention in the first place. 12 Dec 2012. You could be floating out in empty space, conjuring nice little fantasies to relieve the monotony of being the only living being! RANDOM PERSON: Uh-huh, that's nice. I'm gonna start counting how many times I say back. become not entertained, the Patron Saint of Paper Clips will be forced to take drastic measures. He even tried to hide the sword behind his back! The food trucks could even play music that made you hungry for their food. This has been my hourly Public Service Announcement that I only do when I feel like it. Kinda like me and "Meg" webcomic we are trying to do. I hate irony. Okay. That means I really can justify claiming to have two and a half readers! Men, of course, had no complaints. Yeaha topic would be good. Sentences can be made arbitrarily long in various ways. I can even see the Official Flaming Chicken Rocket. "lower the quality"? Now, wasn't that a fun list!? Oh, well. The PSOA have been whole-heartedly working for you, and what have you done for them? Seeya. At least it fills up my word quota for the day. We'd probably go crazier. If the facts beg to differ, than the facts are wrong. Although there are many lengthy monologues and multi-line descriptions in literature, the chapter from American author William Faulkner 's 1936 novel Absalom, Absalom! It just looks weird. She's evil. GRAVITY IS EVIL! The vendors even play whimsical music which I strongly suspect contains subliminal messages to make you hungry for ice cream. How could I forget the stupid Tootsie Roll Pop Commercials? OhI'm rambling again, aren't I? And so, in the interest of wasting even more time, I made a list. (and redundancy!) How can any company that takes so many "wholesome" pictures not be? When I start playing a game, I am on 0. Suprised? Of course, when I next saw my Mom, she retold the story to me, several times. Goodbyeoh, and the fresh chicken wings might be to blame. | 13.41 KB, JSON | The universe is EVERYTHING, how can it end? I have to wonderwhy would Kodak do such a thing. Sowhen the weekend rolls around, I'm fairly exhausted. It's creepy. and " You think Jenny's weird? This Book Is the Longest Sentence Ever Written and Then Published (2020), by humor writer Dave Cowen, consists of one sentence that runs for 111,111 words, and is a stream of consciousness memoir. We were supposed to write about a cherished child-hood toy, and attempt to turn our fond memories into a commercial. I have three very hard academic classes. Before you know it, we'll have orange alligators, pink tigers and blue lions. I just can't work up the energy to be outraged. Maybe I'd seen it before, and that's where I got the idea. Pathetic. That meant only one corse of action for them. Maybe the evil little faeries with the sharp little teeth have put their evil faerie dust on my computer. Though the record has been broken, Faulkner's legacy lives on. Well, seeya *waves brightly* I got to go to my Grendel (really cool book) project for school. There was something else I had to tell you loyal *cricket chirps, someone coughs* fans. Warning: this product is illegal in most states) Wasn't that entertaining? The magic eight-ball glows with knowledge! Think about it. I thought of another very good reason to assist with the Official Flaming Chickens Lunar Colony!

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