Listen to Token and others who have pointed out that there is a problem beyond driving to L&D. In my hospital bed. I havent let him live that down. When my DH was starting up his business last year we were going through huge financial stress he would often have 2-3 beer over a day. He went home to sleep in our bed so he could get some rest. Around 4:30 Sunday morning, I start pushing. She thought she had just peed her pants, but it kept happening everytime she stood upso off we went to the hospital, and she was definately in labor. After reading through all of them (and seriously, YOU SHOULD READ THROUGH ALL OF THEM, the thread might be the best thread ever), I have one question What about the phrase 9cm dilated makes men feel the need to abandon their unborn children to buy a sandwich??? This makes me smile and has healed that little part of me that resented having to be alone and strong at that one beautiful moment. Why do I remember the date so well? Bringing an extra pair of pants or a sweater might keep you more comfortable for what could be a lengthy labor. I've tried explaining this to him, but he really thinks he deserves to unwind however he wants since he works so hard. What happens if you have an emergency at home one night and your husband is drunk? First, would he normally drive after 5 drinks? I understand your concern about getting to the hospital when you're in labor, but have you considered the bigger picture? It scream youth and ignorance. Then she told me to leave. Hopefully our midwife keeps him in line. It was about 11:30 am when we finally made it to the hospital (which was on the other side of town) and after being examined by the nurse, was told I was going to have my child later that evening (at about 6 pm)! And then figured hed take care of some business while he was on the line. It is also important to seek professional. Im late to the party but here is a story for you They might have difficulties controlling their emotions and be prone to anger or violent behavior when drunk. At first he acted like I was over reacting but later apologized and agreed with me. Not during labor, but our almost 10 pound baby ended up in the NICU for low oxygen saturation. Laughing gas has been widely available for laboring women in other countries, and it's finally making its way to hospitals and . Clearly this was ridiculous. My husband to me, You are loosing it. No matter how much you date a person before marriage, some things are revealed afterward. my husband decided that my induction, right as the contractions were taking off and I was getting three in a row with no break of even 3 seconds, was the BEST time possible to show my aunt an episode of Firefly. How to Induce Labor the Right Way. Also, alcoholic parents have a higher incidence of raising alcoholic children. A therapist or counselor will be able to help him overcome his addiction and lead a more fulfilling life. 3. So there are nights of going to bed and retreating to our own sides of the bed. Hubbys problem is that he likes to talk. While I was in labor, sweating like a pig and hooked up to every wire imaginable with waaaay too many things up my vag, he sat back in a chair and said wow, Im really comfortable in this chair. Ummm Im so glad for you!! After like 2 hours I called to have him tell me he didnt feel good so he was taking a nap, and that he was sure I could handle our daughter on my own. Well of course the pain increased dramatically and the nurse, watching the monitor, kept commenting on it soothingly, so I figured hubby was right there with me. Pleaseselect whether I bother you once a day or once a week. All. Guys like you make it possible for guys like me to find great women and kids. You might also explain that it's his baby too, he may want to remember the event. These are all way worse than mine, but my husband insisted that my then 19 hours of labor was not *real* labor because my contractions were not evenly spaced apart like the book says and did not think it was necessary for me to go to the hospital when I could no longer stand the pain. And yes, I actually fix my hair. I dont find I get the opportunity to maintain the rage nearly as much as I once did. Was. pinterest.com. He went back to sleep. Damn you to hell. If I could have, I would have stood up and cheered. Its not a movie wherein things change quickly. Away." In hindsight, I love having pictures from the delivery room. Its a serious problem that can lead to social and physical problems. Your water better not break on my leather seats!. One of the most commonly talked about signs of impending labor, many women begin cleaning and re-arranging baby items in the days or hours before labor begins. This message, when put right, will force them to be in their best mood despite being overly drunk. In the UK, between 3% and 5% of the population suffers from a drinking problem at any one time. When it comes to dealing with an alcoholic husband in denial, speaking to them about the issue in length seems a better option. My lovely ex husband was irritated that I was deciding to have the child on overtime hours and he Promote a faster and healthier labor. I suppose I should give him credit for being there at least. Youve done this before. I push for over two hours and my daughter was born at 6:55 am. Copyright 2009-2023 Creative Skirt, LLC. With my second I was in labor through the night, his dad kept asking if he could go home to sleep because I didnt need him there, he missed his bed and the hospital staff was disrupting his sleep. Its like, my mother went through this, and her mother before her, and, well, basically every woman who ever gave birth went through this & got over it, unless it killed em, so Im going to sit here and appear mildly concerned on the surface but secretly bemused that Im not in your position right now, and knowing, with modern medicine the way it is, that youre going to be all right soon enough, and even lord it over me eventually in the same secret way I enjoyed your suffering. (this part was planned, hospital rule, only 2 in the delivery room besides the mom- so her mom and I attended) I was mentally exhausted by the time the baby was born at 6:44 pm. -Lucy, About 30 minutes after our son was born (a full 24 hours of labor) my husband told me he was going to head home for a bit because he was exhausted. . Im sure there are a ton of great husbands/partners out there. Unless yo ass is imoan. When he finally woke up to go pee, I asked him for some ice chips and he told me he was tired and was just going to go back to sleep. About a week later, when it all sunk in and I realised that I was that mother whose husband was basically flammable in the delivery suite, I realised I had been sitting on a teensy bit of suppressed anger. I think you should talk with him about this (perhaps a counselor as well if talking to him alone won't work? By. When they dont have a limit, they will drink more than they need to and will surely be uncontrollable. Children should be seen, and heard, and believed. (Hopefully it won't have to go there but if the nice and logical angle doens't work you may have to come on a little strong) IMO. Michelle, My husband took a conference call on the way to the hospital. I think your husband should be able to handle 3-5 weeks of not drinking in exchange for a healthy baby and wife. I sincerely wish you luck this will not be an easy road, but I hope you both find the strength you need for the sake of your baby. Mine wasnt nearly as bad as these more just funny. Sandals and flip flops are not recommended, especially if a situation arises where you may have to go into an operating room. "With . You willingly married and created a child with an annoying drunk and yethe's the stupid one. After threats, and having my parents call and force him to drive back. Your H has a serious drinking problem, you enable him, you are having a baby who will be left alone with this man, and all you are worried about is getting to the hospital? My nurse thought he had the flu. For you I would give your DH a heads up if you start feeling any contractions and have him head home if they start getting regular . The local McDonald's owner, Steve Akinboro, rewarded . Dad learned something very important about the fathers role in childbirth that day. He went inside to chat with the guy who worked there while buying cigarettes and chips before finally coming out to pump the gas. fiizzlee = vag ** fiizzle = peen I'm so sorry that you are going through this, I wouldn't wish it on anyone. The following morning my husband went home to get his sugar meter (he is diabetic) that he forgot. My contractions are 1-2 min apart at this point. , as mentioned above, and behave as a counselor. Lydia Swortzel, 36, went into labor at 21 weeks with identical twins after seven years of infertility. Sure having a bonfire or watching a big game with the buddies and having that many once and a while is no big deal, but being unable, or unwilling, to stop drinking heavily on a regular basis should be a huge red flag. LOL, you sound like my wifes ex. OP is due very soon with her 4th child - her second with her husband - and he's rarely at home. 1.) What does his choice of alchohol have to do with it? It's just that the cumulative effect of 4-5 drinks from 5pm until 10 or 11 makes me worry. Needless to say, when, four weeks later he was resting a pack of frozen peas on his testicles from the vasectomy hed breezily put his hand up for, my sympathy levels were small to non-existent. Its not that hard.. When I called him an hour later because I was 9 centimeters he said he was at Sams buying Tupperware. After our first they were sewing me up from some tearing. It was his decision. When they told me at 3am to come in, he just asked, do you NEED me to drive you? With my first I called my then husband to tell him my water broke, he asked if I could drive myself to the hospital so he didnt have to leave work. Hours later on July 28, Emily Jacobs, a 28-year-old . Not only is he really annoying when buzzed, which will piss me off and make my pain and anxiety higher, but he can't drive! So I went about my day normally and really thought something was going on around 3pm. Besides, alcoholic people need reasons to blame people for their condition. Seriously?? You notice a mucusy discharge or "bloody show". I would go along with the game, keep a straight, often giddy face and say nothing. By talking to him about your problems, you will be able to get the support you need to overcome these challenges and move on with your life. When they called my room at 3 am to go nurse her, my husband declined to go with me because he was just so tired after everything that happened that day. Reach out to rescue them only when they seek out help. Oh yeah, and he lost like 15lbs over the course of 2 months without drinking. -Kate, Right after my c-section, my husband asked the nurse in the recovery room if he could just lay down on the floor, saying I promise I wont be in the way. I guess I had it pretty good! He slept it off too long, that should be the only issue, nit that he ate. After They told me I wasnt going back home, I called him and relayed the info. We tackled more laundry. The tank was on empty so we stopped at the gas station. This was 1959, and husbands werent allowed in labor and delivery anyway. I had been on a contraction monitor the whole time so my husband could see how much pain I was in. Look at some of the comments and then talk about stupid. But when he does, he is belligerant and can't stop and just a few. In the worst case, you would also want to avoid the situation as much as you can. Finally after I frantically run around the church for a few mins he calls back in which I tell him get all our pre packed bags and carseat ready to go Im on my way home she is in labor, we lived 4 hours from the birthmom. My hubby is a talker, too. How pregnant: 41 weeks, 2 days. I could even understand maybe a beer or glass of wine a night (which I still think every night is pushing it) BUT 5+ a nightdo you think that is normal behavior? Finally he gets into town, horses and all in the hospital parking lot, smelling like a branding! that actually is true, no one under a certain age . I went it alone and met up with him after surgery where he was holding the baby smiling, refreshed and relieved. He arrived at the hospital with an emerald ring to give her..because after all, it was Mothers Day, and I was born in May. When I was born my Dad was on a fishing trip. OR MAYBE you've been putting it off for awhile and you're doing it because you know you need to stop procrastinating! Dont come to me saying look what your child did. It is always our child. I folded those clothes some more. Most of the responses ignore the real issues, blame it on men being stupid, or just excuse his behavior. As soon as the dr left, I yelled at my hubby to get up and he acted offended! Woman Had Husband Murdered While She Was In Labor With His Best Friend's Baby. -Katie. I still give him crap about it almost four years later now. good luck! We rarely, if ever, have an all-out shout out loud, call the cops, argument. Im so fed up that I almost want a divorce. Some women experience other symptoms of labor with a bloody show: Cramping: You may feel period-like cramps that come and go over the course of hours or even days. He almost passed out and had his own team of nurses and MY midwife helping him. Luke decided it was his moment to shine. During pregnancy, the cervix stays closed and plugged up with mucus (aptly called the "mucus plug"). I'm worried, because I NEED a good labor coach to achieve my goal of a natural birth, but if the whole process begins with me being incredibly pissed at a buzzed DH, I will fail. Bud Grace And Frankie Weight Gain . Just have a rational, heart to heart talk to him when he is not stressed out. He took one too many wrong turns and we ended up in a dodgy end of town. I thought he was bad, but now I see he was just average. This must help. men are so egomaniacal in general. I feel bad that he lost his phone, but why was he throwing it in the kitchen sink? You really, really need to talk to him about this habit. The tendency to hide their problems is also a common characteristic among alcoholics. He had fallen back asleep. Braxton hicks are most often painless or at the worst, uncomfortable. My hubby has a habit of drinking a lot (over 5 drinks in an evening) after a rough day at work, and I'm worried I'll go into labor, and he'll be extremely buzzed. Second, I would have an honest conversation about the role you want him to play in labor and delivery. Braxton hicks will go away with rest, hydration and change of activity in most cases. I had to go to the hospital for a D&C with my first pregnancy as the baby stopped growing and there was no heartbeat, but I didnt miscarriage automatically. this was his fourth child. Labor Story #8: The waiting game (41 weeks / vaginal to C-section) Location: Alexandria, Va. Year: 2013. These are only a few of the symptoms that a person may have a problem with drinking. Dear Amy: I am 63 and my husband (of six years) is 67. He said he felt so guilty and was terrified he was going to get pulled over. Every year, nearly 9,000 women in the U.S. go into labor and, unable to make it to the hospital, have an unplanned or unattended birth at home or in the car on the way to the hospital. I waited in the car while my husband went in 5 minutes go by 10 minutes 15!!!!!! All for a free parking spot!!! So this guy was supposed to NOT eat. The worst part was later when he said, You know, you seemed kind of mad that I got sick. Yeah, sorry I couldnt be sympathetic. I guess I was just a little worn out from the AGONIZING LABOR AND DELIVERY OF YOUR CHILD THAT I JUST ENDURED YOU-F&!KING-MORON-WHO-DECIDED-TO-EAT-POPEYES!!. I cleaned the house again. Suffer. So, feeling AOK, we walked up the hill to the party, socialised and I left Phil to continue cooking sausages and shooting the shit and took the other two kids home around midnight. When one starts living with a functioning alcoholic husband, they try to take control of situations, as mentioned above, and behave as a counselor. It also gives you a sense of control and confidence when you are working with your husband or partner on recovery. My husband and the doctor talked football the entire time I was pushing. My husband stopped drinking the first week in April. While bringing the note over they saw his truck and had to go bang on our bedroom window to wake my stupid husband up. According to the World Health Organisation. Also, per Davidson, never, ever wear open-toed shoes to the hospital. We didnt go to bed until midnight. "She went into labour.": she started giving birth (generally means her waters broke or she otherwise started experiencing labour pains) we're focusing on the moment the labour started (moment in time, not duration) "She was in labour for 3 hours.": we're focusing on the length of the labour (duration, not moment in time) Unfortunately, real life doesnt always abide by my blogging schedule and sis gave birth last Friday night! To this day I cant even enjoy an episode of Duck Dynasty without wanting to smother him. Fine. So, there will be relapses in the process, but you should keep on trying. I mean you did what she asked, right??? After 38 hrs of labor, My hubby looked at me, with this serious look on his face, while Im pushing our daughters head out, and saidwell that was easy, can we do it again? (It meaning have another baby)i told him sure, but you can carry it this time!, After I had a surgery on my left breast, my husband asked what he would were to an event! Also I agree with a pp that it should be a conversation on the weekend or when he's realaxed and preferably sober. my best and held out until about 6am. He then drank some juice and couldnt hold my leg while I pushed because he was still a little shaky. All they could do was pace the floor in the waiting room. My FI usually has a few drinks every night too but I am not really worried about him not being able to drive to the hospital because theres tons of people around us who would be more than willing to drive me there. 26 years of marriage has taught me to make sure she is comfortable and has what she needs first and to be honest about what I need. Around 10 am he announces that he has to go home because the Popeyes he ate has given him food poisoning. Little do they know. Whats worse is that his parents brought him back to the hospital drunk as a skunk. Delivery type: Vaginal that progressed to C-section. I havent read all 237 responses, but did you get any from gay couples? He at Popeyes and now she is here yelling bout the fact he ate. ).Seems this would not be good even after the baby is born. My husband said that I should be more in pain, but I convinced him that we should still go to the hospital to get it checked, and that the worst thing that could happen was to get sent home. Jaime Clark didn't feel contractions with her first baby, either. -Tifffany, My husband took so many pictures of himself in the scrubs and mask (obviously super important to document) the camera battery was almost dead when we actually had the baby! That's why it's important to do the things that make you happy, such as hobbies, movies, great food - whatever floats your boat. I was furious! The. My DH never drinks like that, unless we're headed out for a crazy night with friends (every once in a while) or to a wedding or something. He normally goes to the pub every Friday, not too late. He said he needed to shower and run a couple of errands and get some lunch. Madeline Harding. After being in labor all day and delivering at 9:00 at night we got almost no sleep. I get all the credit for being an awesome stepdad and none of the crap over what got screwed up during labor. Now for Baby #2I have pictures of Dad sitting in my hospital bed holding our daughter, chatting on a phone headset. You can't drive yourself, and if he's been drinking that much then you are taking cab. July 2015 Answer . Many people who struggle with alcoholism are reluctant to accept treatment on their own. Grab Now! My husband and I were so excited that we jumped right into action. They might be useful in convincing him that he's got a pretty vital role and needs to be really present. Put together a back-up plan now because none of this is acceptable (not his drinking, buzzed driving or your calling his parents to essentially tattle on him). With our first child, he made me wait until the show Charlies Angels was done before leaving for the hospital. I was two weeks overdue, had been induced and then sent home because nothing was happening. This consultation should happen long before a manager is faced with a worker who might be drunk on the job, she said. Things start with a small incident and can lead to bigger uncontrollable incidences that will only bring shame to you and your family. My first child was early and I had a long hard 19 hour labor. Have you thought about what your day-to-day lifewill be like? . We went to a friends wedding about 3 weeks ago and I asked him before hand not to drink and he did anyways and got pretty drunk. The elevator went up to the maternity clinic where i had to yell for help because i couldnt walk. DH managed to get to the hospital after his work in time to give me a quick kiss and be kicked out for delivery. I had a go-bag ready with food, water and phone numbers. I have been with my husband for 10 years, married for four, and he has a drinking problem.We met in our early 20s and started our relationship long-distance.I relocated to the UK and we moved in . When Orbalina Miranda went into labor with her third child at 4:30 a.m. on Tuesday, she left her two children asleep in their beds, in a relative's care, and headed to Brookhaven Memorial Hospital . You two need to have some serious conversations about his alcohol intake, labor or not. The husband is now a soon-to-be-ex-husband. If that doesn't work,I have two thoughts. This isnt a birth story, but rather sadder. Well when it was time for my epidural, my husband went home to take a quick shower and grab a bite to eat! But for nearly a week, some women, including Lauren, gave birth . And never forgot it. When he got home, he dropped his phone in a stock pot that was soaking in the sink. As he was putting the needle in my back, my husband let out a loud snore and the dr laughed. Be there to offer encouragement for labor and delivery. of the issue and will look for a solution. . Many, many people struggle with this same issue, and there is help available if he chooses to use it. Because, he was a little bit tired. When I was in labor with our son my wife was AMAZING, a true hero. It also happened to be the night of our annual street party. Can I Use Soju Instead Of Sake; Kentucky Sheriff Vehicle Inspection Fayette County My hubby has a habit of drinking a lot (over 5 drinks in an evening) after a rough day at work, and I'm worried I'll go into labor, and he'll be extremely buzzed. The heavy drinker, seemingly unaware of what is happening, become furious, resentful and enraged. Among the no nos are the one that forbids his mom and dad and other men to come in during this private time and looking at your birth area. Alcoholics don't just drink hard liquorWTF? You probably will NEVER be in that much pain but if you are, I sincerely hope you remember what you said! She told you how big he was going to be. After 15 hours of back labor and a placental abruption, mine thought it would be cute to say, Honey, calm down! Karma soon gave him kidney stones afterwards. Someone needs to tell them it is not helpful to say things likeHere we go. and This looks like a big one.. Its so crazy, right? I tell her I need to go home. I stop on the way home to fill up the truck and he calls me back asking if I was serious or if this was just a trail run to see how fast we could get everything readyOMG its not a test this is the real deal! I wish men weren't so stupid about some things. The best way to cope with your stress and maintain a positive attitude is to stay focused on your goals and avoid situations that may trigger the urge to drink. **They're called first luddz fo' a reason -- mo' is supposed ta come after. Upon completion of said EP, he gave it to the neighbor. He never slept even when I did (due to pain meds, epidural didnt work) for 27 hours. If he won't deal with that, you should. I wish men weren't so stupid about some things. You don't want him to not be able to function when the baby needs to be cared for during the night. Hubby was very excited and solicitous and kept asking how I was and what did I need. -Meredith, My husband had ONE job, ONE. If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married. My husband has already been given the expectation that the next couple weeks he can't drink all that much (not like he does normally, but he is trying to plan a guy's night this . There is no pattern. Two days later, he picked us up from the hospital and wanted me to make eggplant parmesan from scratch cause we had a new oven. I had nothing with me when we went in, I didnt even consider the chance that I would be having a baby that night. Five drinks regularly to "unwind" isquite a lot. Hes pretty lucky the epidural finally kicked in halfway through their lunch date! I beleive that 4th pregnancy has got to be my last. Heres the thing. Probably because I threatened him with bodily harm if he didnt. -Amy, At 3am, I decided it was time to go and my husband said he was getting up to get ready. said he was not paying for any unnecessary pain medication since he witnessed many cows giving birth and they just plop them out. Nesting. Luckily, my own husband was a peach! Remember, youre not to be blamed for their habit. There's also a growing body of medical literature that finds links between stressful events in pregnancyincluding natural disastersand poor birth outcomes. Probably my biggest moment of suppressed anger started on the 2nd of December, 2006. Also, he decided at some point that the contraction monitor was a better gauge of my pain than I was: Oh, that one wasnt so bad. I nearly ripped his head off. -- A pregnant doctor unexpectedly went into early labor while delivering another woman's child. I was about 100 years pregnant and ready to pop. Our son was born in the morning. and my water broke at 2am so I tried calling him to tell him to come back. It was winter so between contractions I had to warm up the car and take my bags out. Last week, I made a simple request on the Mommy Shorts fanpage. Its real life, and you mustnt give up so easily. I tell everyone this story and will never let my husband forget it! Andhe bowled the only perfect game of his entire life! Im not sure where to start with my story and it has been 20 years and fresh in my mind. This can lead to further problems such as depression, anxiety, and social withdrawal. My dad went out for tacos! Phil, was at this point, fading fast. Obviously if I am in labor I will not be driving myself but I am sure once we get closer to my EDD then he will slow it down. Police raided a pregnant woman's home wrongly suspecting her husband stole a snowblower; she ended up in jail, in labor, and experts say, illegally in shackles. While have contractions at home with my 1st child ( it was around 6pm and my contractions were coming every 5min) my husband called up to me from down stairs (I was on all 4s at this point) asking if I was hungry and he was going to order an Indian take-away. Ha, I thought to myself, hell be visiting the bathroom regularly tomorrow. PCOS and Hypothyroidism- Successful IUI's- May 2012 and October 2014. NOW I have to remind him, when he rolls his eyes knowingly seeing movies where women scream in pain during labor, that it really IS realistic too, even if it was not what he observed! Haha Im going to have to share these stories with my boyfriend so he knows not to mess up next time. Call a sibling or a friend and have them be at the ready to bring you to the hospital on the off chance your husband decides to booze it up with his co-workers. I just looked at him and siad Seriously!?! The dream doesn't end, and that's when I start to be afraid. My husband ripped a huge, disgusting fart while I was in labor and then got offended when I gave him the dirtiest look I possibly could. Mortified. If I were you, I would have a back up plan. "Had 'bloody show' for two weeks prior to my water breaking and even lost my mucus plug and NADA! What Red Raspberry Leaf Tea can do: Strengthen and tone the uterus. I am sure you are aware there are going to be a lot of long nights that you are not going to want your DH sleeping off his buzz. Labour won't "sober him up" and make it safe for him to drive. After a long labor and birthing a 10 lb baby naturally, my husband, told me that the room smelled like a deer was gutted in it. I ended up wandering around the hospital and eventually bumped into him as he was on his way back in IM IN LABOR, PEOPLE!!!